Theme-less

Hello
from the land of the towering infernos!

Yes, the
land around us continues to burn and the wupa-wupa-wupa of helicopters has
become merely a background noise we tune out. Smoke hangs thick in our air,
some days we can barely see BOB (the Big Orange Bridge). And recently a fire
south of the border crossed over, (illegally, I am sure, but no one asked for
its passport), and is now raging out of control – fire crews had to be pulled
away because it was moving too fast and was too unpredictable. The ash from
that fire, which is at least 20 miles away, fell like snow for two days. Early
evenings seem almost sinister as the smoke in the air filters the sun and
everything glows an intense and strange orange colour. (Cue the Twilight Zone
Music). 

We have
friends who have been on and off evacuation notice more than once because of
the fires. I had a dream the other night that we were told to evacuate quickly
and Prez and I ended up in a huge argument over what to bring with us. He
adamantly refused to leave any of our tools behind which left little room in
the truck for anything else. I argued that while tools were replaceable, our
old photos and memorabilia were not. And, of course, we needed room for Emily!
I woke up wondering what things we really would bring if we had to flee
on short notice. I was also pissed off at Prez for being so stubborn in my
dream, but he’s used to that.

So, this
week’s Coconut Chronicle has no theme. Sorry about that. You know, I knew I was
running low on themes and I meant to stop in and pick some up on my way home
from the gym the other day but it completely slipped my mind. Prez said he
might have some old themes in one of the storage containers but I’d rather just
go without than use some dried up, dilapidated theme that obviously no one
wanted in the first place. Rather, I decided to make this one of those “bits
& bobs” posts where I talk about a bunch of random stuff… 

Wait!
Don’t go!!!

Look, I
promise it will be REALLY COOL random stuff. Ummm…er…maybe I’ll have some sort
of surprise ending…yeah, that’s it! Maybe a car chase? Or…oooo…a helicopter
chase with a super villain who has genetically modified pit bulls so they can
fly BUT the good guys have cannons that shoot crocodiles! Yes, you wouldn’t
want to miss that bit now would you??? Ah, read on faithful Nutter, you
won’t be disappointed!* 

*The
Coconut Chronicles and its affiliates are not legally responsible for
“disappointment”, or related side effects, pursuant to Act 6.2 of the blogging
code of ethics. See: Johnson v Bloggirl43.

I know
it’s been a long time, but you may recall a post where I was going to send a
copy of “Upholding the Wild” to a Mystery Recipient (Mwa ha ha). Anyway,
the decision was made and the Mystery Recipient is…Walking Woman Ann from
Calgary, Alberta! I chose Ann for a few reasons. First, she and her partner Rob
are going to be hiking through the Purcell Wilderness Conservatory this month.
Second, Ann spent months soliciting donations for her part in the Weekend to End Breast Cancer, (a cause very close to my heart…no pun intended); she raised
over two thousand dollars and walked, I think, 8 trillion miles over two days.
And third, she asked to be the Mystery Recipient and I think anyone with
the huevos to actually email and say “pick me” deserves to be chosen!
Way to go Walking Woman!! 

Oh, FYI,
the Weekend to End Breast Cancer raised 5.6 million dollars for breast
cancer research, pretty cool.

In other
news, I am famous in Denmark. Well, perhaps “famous” is stretching it. “Known”
in Denmark?? Or perhaps, “mentioned” in Denmark? Whatever, the point is this: I
have this tracking system which lets me know how many people are reading the
Coconut Chronicles, where they’re from, how they got here, etc. etc. (Big
Princess is Watching You), and I followed the link of a reader from Denmark to
a Microsoft article on blogging – which you can see here. At the bottom, there is a list of “Popular
Blog Personalities” and I am on it! In Denmark, this rant of mine is known as “Kokosnøddekrøniker” which I think sounds very chic! So
hello to all my fans in Denmark! Or should I say, “God dag” instead?
 

And here’s some fun statistics, (well, “fun” may also be
stretching it):

-Since I put The Coconut Chronicles on MSN Spaces I have had
38,295 page views

-There are Nutters from B.C., Alberta, Ontario, New York, Georgia,
Washington, Idaho,   Colorado, Montana,
Florida, Kenya, Mexico, Panama, and, of course, Denmark…just to name a few.

-Today I had a visitor from Beijing!

-Cindy puts a comment on every post (thanks Cindy!). Her blog is
Laugh Lines.

-The Coconut Chronicles have been featured in the “Best of MSN
Spaces” twice!

-Hi again Denmark!

I have a few blogs that I read on a regular basis. A Star from Mosul is written by Najma, a young university student in Iraq. I like this blog
because it gives me a perspective of Iraq you won’t find on CNN or even Al
Jazeera. She writes about university and family life and her comments about the
“war” concern the ways in which it affects her and her loved ones directly.  

My other daily blog fix comes from Mompoet. I love her tag line,
“Word from the ‘Burbs” and her blog can always make me laugh, make me cry, and/or make me think. Mompoet is a member of my writing group in Port Moody,
the Shoreline Writer’s Society. I’m not a big reader of poetry but I will read
anything Mompoet writes. Her work deals with subjects as common as facing
mid-life crises and driving parents to their colonoscopy appointments but in a
language that is playful, poignant, and so richly imaginative you often feel
you are reading a painting instead of a poem. She’s funny, too, and you all
know how I like that.

We are now in Immigration Limbo. All of our medical tests are
complete and you will be happy to know we do not have TB, Aids, Gonorrhea,
Rectal/breast cancer, hepatitis, nor a host of other maladies I can’t remember
the names for. I had seven vials of blood drawn for my tests. I’m not good with
needles, (Prez is a hundred times worse, he can’t even watch them on TV!), but
I’m better than I used to be. There was a time when one nurse had to hold my
arm while the other took my blood because I would shake so badly. Now I usually
just get a bad case of sweaty palms and a feeling like I have to go to the
bathroom…now! So the nurse sucks 7 vials of the precious fluid out of me, and I
think I’m being quite brave, making jokes about how my husband is going to be
so much worse than me, when all of a sudden the room starts spinning and I feel
woozy. Standing up was bad, sitting in the chair wasn’t much better, so I
plunked down on the tile floor until the world leveled out again.

There’s something about a tile floor I find so reassuring.

While we wait for the word from the Cook Islands government, we’ve
been making lists and organizing our stuff for sale and/or storage. We finally
got our butts back to work. Prez was going squirrelly without stuff to do, but,
between you and me, I was OK with the whole not-working thing. Well, except for
the lack of paycheques – that can be a problem. 

Emily killed a mouse yesterday which is good news. She was not
doing well which meant a visit to Dr. Hart, who said she probably had giardia.
Two weeks of metronidazole and she’s like a new cat. Prez is just happy to not
find any “surprises" in the bath tub in the middle of the night…oh the joys of
solid stools! The Carpet Panther loves killing, so to find an ex-mouse in the
basement with her yowling and prancing around it means she is back to her old
self.

I think that’s about all the rambling for this week. On Thursday
we head to the coast for my 20th highschool reunion; I’m pretty sure
I’ll find a theme in there somewhere for next week.  

Oh yes, if you want to watch a very funny movie rent, “Hot Fuzz”.
There are a few gory bits so not suitable for the young ‘uns, but even the gory
bits are funny.

Yep, I think that’s it…yep. Oh man, this is so embarrassing, not
only did I run out of themes but I’m completely out of meaningful endings. Wow,
I apologize, sincerely apologize. Gosh, I don’t know…I guess I could just say
“goodbye” but it seems so flat and impersonal doesn’t it? And I usually try to
tie my endings into the beginning somehow. What to do? Wait, I know, I could do
like the DVD’s for movies and have two alternate endings! Yeah!! OK, here are
your two alternate endings, read whichever one you like: 

#1) And they all lived happily ever after.

#2) As Prez fired the last crocodile out of the cannon, all we
could do was pray. What chance did humanity have against Dr. Foul and his
winged pit bulls? Wiping the sweat and blood from my face, I watched as the
croc latched on to door of the helicopter then lunged for the pilot. Down the
copter plunged. Prez and I kissed in the orange glow of its giant fireball.
“Shouldn’t we call the President and tell him to call off the tactical nuke
strike?” I asked breathlessly. Prez smiled that devilish smile of his and
wrapped an arm around my waist, “In a while…crocodile”, he said as our lips met
and the world around us disappeared.  

QUESTION: Well, do you have a better ending? Huh? Do
you????

Until next week, I hope this finds you healthy, happy, &
lovin’ life!

The Princess

p.s. – more photos next week!

This entry was posted in Life. Bookmark the permalink.

One Response to Theme-less

  1. Cindy says:

    That was a mahvelous ending … simply mahvelous.
     
    P.S.  Thanks for the honorable mention.
     

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