Those Lazy, Hazy, Crazy Days

Hello again from the Big Blue!


Gentlemen, hold your heads high. This week’s Scootie Award goes to two strapping young local boys, doubling home from the golf course, each with a golf bag, full of clubs, slung across their laps. Way to represent for the men!


We are now on the downward slope of summer. I am finally acclimatizing to the heat, though last night I gave up and crawled out to the screened-in common area to sleep on the couch. A fraction of a breeze is better than none. My portable air-conditioning system usually works on the really bad nights but last night was off the charts. (If you’re wondering what a portable air-conditioning system is, well, it’s simply an ice pack from the freezer wrapped in a small towel, which you hug to your body as you try to sleep. A fantastic invention except for the large pool of condensation you wake up in.)


I’ll warn you right now that this will probably be a very boring Coconut Chronicle. If there’s something good on TV, go ahead and watch it. Prez and I are enjoying some quiet time – calm before the storm, I’m guessing. We have only two people on the property, it’s Sunday, and the heat is slowly lulling me into a mild comatose state. Our resident cats look as if someone snuck in while we weren’t looking and stole their spines. Even the mozzies are too hot to bite. This afternoon I heard a faint buzzing and when I listened closely it was actually a mozzie saying, “Um, do you think you could come a bit closer? I don’t think I have the energy to fly over there and drill into you. Come on, be a sport. I promise I don’t have dengue. Honest.”


You may be wondering how the wedding went last week… or not, but I’ll tell you anyway. The day began with a tuna fishing trip. (Oh please, did you really expect us to host a wedding without fishing?) Prez took the groom out at dark o’clock in the morning to bag a yellowfin tuna. And, though there was much barfing from our young husband-to-be, he successfully landed a 30lb beauty. Janet, our local baker, dropped off a coconut lime cake – her specialty, and I scootered down the road to pick up flowers. Two white ei’s and a small bouquet of local flowers. At about 10:45, we loaded the happy couple into the car, hitched up the boat, and drove to the wharf, (with a quick stop at the petrol station).


I don’t think the bride-to-be was ready for photos yet!

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Our minister was No’oh, a goliath of a man with a sunny and gentle disposition. We met him at the wharf, Prez and Groom launched the boat, we all climbed in, and off we motored to, aptly-named, Honeymoon Island. If you were to draw a line to represent a spectrum of beautiful places to get hitched, the worst end being, let’s say, a train station in Kazakhstan during the middle of winter, at the other end, representing the best and most beautiful, would be Honeymoon Island. This day, in particular, pushed the boundaries of beauty even further. Blue skies with just a few cotton ball clouds; water of no less than eighty-six shades of blue, and so clear you could read the fine print of an aspirin bottle from a hundred feet down. Of course, I took credit for it all, insisting I’d specially ordered the weather for the ceremony.

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I was a little concerned about the ceremony, to be honest. The couple had asked for a JP in their email, as neither is religious, but there is no such thing here. And since I have never attended church on the island (or anywhere), I was relying on a recommendation from another Papa’a. There are almost more churches than people on Aitutaki and locals take the whole God business very seriously…on Sundays. I need not have worried, No’oh was totally chilled. Well, not totally, he was wearing long pants and a long sleeved shirt in the direct sun. We lined the couple up on the sand, with the water in the background (we were also the official wedding photographers), and No’oh read a lovely little piece about being able to accomplish more together than alone, and being each other’s best friends. Really sweet.

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When the “I do’s” were done, Prez marched the couple up and down the beach, into the bushes, out of the bushes, and into the water, snapping photos like a seasoned paparazzi. “Oi!” said the groom, “My mum’s gonna love you!


Back at Perfect Beach Resort, we met up with the Danish family staying in the Garden Hut and they lead us to the beach to show off the big heart their two kids had made, out of shells, in the sand. Ooo! More photos!!


New hubby popped some bubbly, we rounded up snacks, and the next thing you know we’re having a party. Prez and I declared an official day off and set to celebrating in earnest. (Believe it or not, there are days we actually don’t spend all of our time drinking cocktails with guests.) Happy Couple shared some New Zealand vodka with us. Potent stuff. Needless to say, we were all asleep by four o’clock, which was good because we had a BBQ planned for that evening.


Work, work, work, work, work. Sigh.


New Hubby is a stuntman back in New Zealand, so much of the conversation went like this, “You shoulda seen it, this one time___________________________” (fill in the blank with story regarding some crazy antic pulled either on or off set). He is still young and in that ‘This is the coolest job in the world!’ phase, (despite the fact that Kiwi stunt guys get paid pretty crappily and have no insurance), which made me feel as if we’d stepped into a time machine and transported back about six or seven years. Good fun.


And then there were none.


We had one night with not a single guest on the property. We were blissfully alone; free to run around naked if we chose, at liberty to enjoy a romantic evening with no danger of interruption…and hot… and exhausted. We ate dinner, watched a movie, and zonked. Welcome to paradise.


And now, I’m catching up on emails, drinking an ice cold Amstel, reading some trashy books, crossing my fingers that the supply ship arrives soon, and preparing myself for the busy week ahead.


That’s about it. Hmm.


Oh, I almost forgot! The Heineken store got a shipment of celery flown in yesterday!!


And you thought this Chronicle would be boring. Ha!


QUESTION: Isn’t celery exciting?!


Until next week, I hope this finds you healthy, happy & lovin’ life!

The Princess 

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