Bewitched, Bothered, and Bewildered

from a Kozy place!

I’m not
certain where to begin. I feel discombobulated, flummoxed, frazzled,
out-of-sorts, out of alignment, out of body, dizzy, dumbstruck, bothered,
bewildered, puzzled, perplexed, happy, sad, scared, excited, nervous, ambivalent,
melancholic, wistful, wondering, and wonderful…to name just a few.

Our last
week in Nelson was a roller coaster of happy gatherings, sad goodbyes, and
tense packing moments, (and by “tense” I mean, “we wanted to kill each other”).
I had one last Ladeez Night – a dinner at Baba’s Indian food restaurant, which
ended with a power failure and paying of bills by the light of cell phones. BJ
and I went to the Capitol Theatre to see the hilarious play, "The Number 14"; our
cheeks were still sore the next day from all the laughing we did. Prez threw
one last sushi fiesta for the gang although the gang was much smaller than
usual as it was a last minute thing. And we spent our last night chillin’ with BJ,
eating good food with an even gooder friend.

That was
all the happy stuff.

The rest
of the time we were trying to pare down the mountain of stuff we want to bring
to the Cook Islands. We are allowed two bags each, 50lbs per bag, plus one
carry-on bag each, and one personal bag (purse) each. OK, so imagine only being
able to have 200lbs worth of stuff to live with for one year. Easy? Go weigh
some of your favorite things, yes, right now. Ha! Not so easy, huh? 

We lose
one bag, right off the top, for dive gear – actually  1 ½ bags to be honest.
Not much point moving to a beautiful, tropical destination without our dive
gear. Then, our tools take up ½ a bag. That’s two bags taken up, and both
weighing over the 50lb limit, I’m quite certain! That leaves each of us with
50lbs – good gravy; I have books that weigh 10lbs each!! Forget the carry-on,
that’s pretty much all computer gack and emergency – i.e. “If our luggage gets
lost, what will we need to survive until it is found?” – type gear. We will be
paying extra for our fishing rod case and our reel case. I’m sure we’ll be
paying extra for the stuff we’ll have to remove and re-pack into yet another
bag, too.

On top
of the suitcase packing stress, we also had to pack and move the remainder of
our stuff into storage, (I pity the fool who tries to find anything in that
storage locker!). Regular Nutters know about my Organizational Issues, and, therefore,
can imagine the full-on anxiety attacks I experienced watching Prez, literally,
throwing and stuffing unrelated items into boxes and sealing them up with no
identifying labels!! Hold on, I have to take a moment and relax…deep cleansing
breaths…I’m in my happy place. 

Then there
was Emily; the root of all domestic disputes. Since she’s going to live with
Grampa, I wanted to make sure her vaccines were up to date, get her urine and
blood checked to see how her kidneys are functioning, get her on the thyroid medication
she needs, and get her some sort of “happy pills” to make the whole transition
less stressful. (At this point, most of the women are thinking, ‘well, of
course, that makes complete sense’
, most of the men are thinking ‘????????’).
Feline spending is never a happy topic between Prez and me. But seeing as this
is the Coconut Chronicles, MY coconut Chronicles, let me just say…I am always
100% correct when it comes to the health and well-being of my kitty.


Then I
fell down the outside stairs. Not on purpose, either. Stupid, slippery leaves! My
bum is blue, and purple, and sore. My chronic back pain became Excruciating
Chronic Back Pain. Thankfully I’d already visited my doctor for a truck load of
meds to take with us to our desert island – another source of domestic unrest.
(Hey, you try having an attack of endometriosis in the middle of the Costa
Rican jungle and see if you don’t plan for emergencies a little more thoroughly
next time you travel!) 

morning we hugged BJ goodbye and passed along our best wishes to the Ripster, who
is in Nepal preparing to summit Ama Dablam. What a flood of mixed emotions, but
I held it together…until we went to Oso Negro for coffee. Let me say, for the
record, I have never broken down in tears in a coffee shop, until now. Somehow,
standing there among the usual Oso hustle and bustle; Nelsonites in fleece and
Gortex meeting to discuss the mountain bike route they would ride that day, or
politics, or art, or whatever; the smell of fresh roasted coffee and those
famous breakfast buns on the grill; brilliant orange and red trees outside the
window, with their leaves blowing down to Baker St.; somehow, it hit me. I was
leaving, leaving a place, and people, I really love.


Then we
were on the road. The sun was shining, my back was throbbing, Prez kept telling
me he loved me and everything was going to be great, Emily was zonked out in
the back seat on happy pills. And Nelson grew smaller and smaller in the
rearview mirror, and eventually disappeared. It was all so…weird.  

Then we
were at the Kozak mansion, ooo-ing and aah-ing over the new kitchen designed by
Tweeter, saying hello to good friends, slurping back (in my case) a gigantic
martini, and stuffing our faces with typical Titanium Chef Kozy’s five-star
chow. And it all felt…well…weird, but good weird.  

Thursday, I am off for four days of writing bliss at the Surrey International
Writer’s Conference! Yipee! Though I’ve begun working on Novel #2, I will not
be trying to pitch anything to anyone this year…whew. I’m really looking
forward to enjoying the conference with no expectations or stress this year.

that, the island, where Emily and I will… 

No, I
can’t say it. I can’t even think about it yet.
La, la, la,
la, la, la, la…

Then, on
Oct.28th, we fly away to the Cook Islands. Turn the page, next chapter. I
suspect my mixed up mood will continue until my feet touch down on sand and my
50lbs of stuff is unpacked. It’s OK, I’m not afraid to feel. To quote the
character Shelby from “Steel Magnolias”: I’d rather have thirty seconds of
wonderful than a lifetime of nothing special
. I’d rather feel every emotion
under the sun, all at once, whatever the cost, than spend my life thinking
about all the chances I could have taken, all the opportunities I missed.  

But I
will still miss Nelson and the Ripsters and Oso Negro and Baker Street and my
writing group and the mountains and…

How are you feeling today? 

next week, I hope this finds you healthy, happy & lovin’ life!


This entry was posted in Life. Bookmark the permalink.

2 Responses to Bewitched, Bothered, and Bewildered

  1. Cindy says:

    I am feeling much better, thank you.  My bipolar had taken a drastic turn for the worse and I reached critical mass yesterday around sixish but it seems during the night the chemicals in my brain shifted, the clouds have parted (metaphorically speaking … it is raining today) and I have returned to my former myself.  *huge sigh of relief*
    I hope your travel goes smoothly and your new place soon feels like home.

  2. Kristene says:

    Cindy – I\’m glad you\’re feeling better. My birth mom was bi-polar, by the way. She was a really lovely woman.Thanks for the good wishes.K

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