Well, I had this huge rant all written out about life in Ukee – mostly
about the frustrations of life in Ukee actually – and then…I went
back to the city. Life in Ukee is not so bad really. I won’t lie, the
city has some good stuff that I miss. What’s the best thing about the
city? Movie theatres? Starbucks? My writer’s group? My gym?
Osamu’s Sushi? Planet Organic Grocery Store? No. The best thing
about the city is that a whole bunch of people that I really love live
there. My friends. Tied with my husband for "Most Important Thing in my
Life" and if it wasn’t for them, I wouldn’t bother going back to the
city at all.
My visit was short (2 nights) but definitely sweet.
The Macs put me up for night one. Ron cooked up a yummylicious dinner
on the spur of the moment. Prawns….mmmmmm. Deb and I just got cooked
on Bombay Gin and Carolines. Hangover…mmmmmm. Night two was at the
Roney’s with refreshing cocktails and good conversation on the lanai.
The conversation turned to the subject of friends and two friends, in
particular, who have caused me some hurt feelings over the past year
and most recently have expressed that they want nothing more to do with
the Prez and me – I’ll call them Mickey & Minnie to protect their
The scoop: Mickey and Minnie have apparently had some real issues with
the Prez and me for years. You’d never know it by the way they act
around us, in fact you’d swear they were our very best friends in the
world by their behaviour. About a year ago, under some unusual
circumstances, a good friend finally told me all that had been said
about the Prez and me over the years – it was bad. If you had listened
very closely that day I’m certain you could have heard my heart
breaking. Imagine finding out that someone you really love and speak
highly of to everyone you know actually can’t stand you to the point of
not wanting you in their home. I suspect, if you are old enough, you
don’t have to imagine because everyone has been let down or betrayed by
someone they loved at one point.
So what do you do? A younger me would have picked up the phone a long
time ago and spewed all my hurt and outrage at them, but the older me
knows what a waste of time that is and would never risk putting the
friend who confided in me in a bad position. So what do you do?
With the opposite sex, at least you get closure. Words are spoken,
posessions are divided up, tears are cried, documents are signed…you
are divorced. How do you divorce a friend?
There are only about six people who even know about this little problem
– even Mickey and Minnie don’t know that I know. Weddings, parties,
dinners – with divorced couples everyone knows and delicately decides
which person to invite to which function. More often than not, friends
are divided up in the divorce as well so the decision is easy. But I
know we will see Mickey & Minnie around and just the thought puts
my stomach into knots because I know that I will not be able to fake it.
The Prez and I have our quirks and faults, everyone does. As friends
you accept that people aren’t perfect, you accept that we are all
different but we can still love each other. The Prez may step on a lot
of toes at times, may not always say what he thinks tactfully and
offend without meaning to – but he is honest and loyal beyond compare.
Even knowing all that he does, he bears no ill will toward Mickey &
Minnie but, instead, feels sorry for them, feels that they must be
having some troubles in their life. Me? I feel humiliated and betrayed.
If there were divorce papers for friends I would sign them today. Some
days I wish I were more like my husband.
Ten years from now I won’t be giving any of this a second thought.
Twenty years from now I might say "Mickey and Minnie who?". Thirty
years from now I’ll look at their photo and remember only the good
laughs we had once. Forty years from now – when I’m living with my 100
cats and making knitted hats – I might invite them over for biscuits
and a martini.
But today…it hurts.
So what would you do?
Until next week, I hope this finds you healthy, happy & lovin’ life!